Confessions and Candies: "If Only" and a Chronicle of Private Memories in a Shared World
Reflecting on our memories, private and shared, through the lens of literature and technology, enriched by our community discussions.
If only we took a few more photos!
In my previous post in December, I shared the story of my trip to Brazil, where both my belongings and those of some other people were stolen. It was a puzzling situation as we were together as a group throughout the entire trip. So, what did we do?
We immediately turned to our phones, which thankfully were not stolen, and started examining our photos.
Look at this photo! He still had his flip-flops at this point. But in that photo, they're missing. So, the theft must have occurred between this time and that time.
Documenting every hour of our journey has left us with plenty of evidence.
If only we could rewatch our memories…
For moments we did not document on our phones, we turned to our collective memories.
What do YOU remember? Are you 100% sure I didn't take my computer out at the first Airbnb? Did I have my backpack at the pizza restaurant? Where was my backpack when I was at the ferry? Are we 100% sure the car was locked? It was probably taken on the ferry! No, it was probably taken in the first Airbnb! No, the pizza restaurant.
Everyone remembered differently.
If only we could rewatch the events like a movie, then we might figure out when my computer was taken, and maybe, even get it back.
If it only synced to iCloud…
Once I had processed the initial shock of the financial loss, my immediate grief was for the lost recordings of memories. In addition to my work computer, my iPad was also stolen.
I had owned this iPad since my college days, primarily using it for reading books recently. However, in its earlier years, it was my go-to tool for writing and drawing. Unfortunately, due to its age, it stopped updating or syncing to iCloud, leading to the loss of all its stored content.
It had been so long since I had used it for anything other than as a Kindle alternative, that I couldn't even recall the notes or photos on it. Nevertheless, I mourned the loss of what I had long forgotten – the irrecoverable memories.
If only we Owned our Unconscious …
In my October book club, we delved into "The Candy House" by Jennifer Egan, a 2022 novel centered around the "Own Your Unconscious" technology. This technology, initially a scientific breakthrough for uploading memories, morphs into a commercial service. People can exchange access to their memories for the ability to view others'.
Egan explains, “By uploading all or part of your externalized memory to an online 'collective,' you gain proportionate access to the anonymous thoughts and memories of everyone, living or dead, who has done the same.”
She poses a thought-provoking question: “Who could resist gaining access to the Collective Consciousness for the small price of making our own anonymously searchable?”
However, as the narrative unfolds, Egan reveals a twist. A new technology emerges, enabling individuals to be identified within these memories, shattering the illusion of anonymity. This evolution of the technology paints a dystopian picture in Egan's universe.
If only our memories were pathways to the divine…
As I explore the complexities of memory and privacy in Jennifer Egan's “The Candy House,” my thoughts drift back in time to another influential work on memory: Saint Augustine's “Confessions.”
Written in the late 4th century, “Confessions” is regarded as one of the earliest autobiographies in Western literature. Augustine, a prominent figure in the early Christian Church, utilizes “Confessions” to delve into his spiritual journey, placing considerable emphasis on the essence and potency of memory. He perceives memory as a sacred, internal repository, a place of deep personal and spiritual significance. In this realm, memory is not just about the recall of past events but a space where one encounters truth, self, and even the divine.
Fast forward to over a millennium and a half later, Egan writes about a world where technology externalizes and commodifies memory.
What would Augustine say if he read “The Candy House?” Augustine might argue that such externalization strips memory of its profound, personal essence. His idea of memory as a pathway to the divine conflicts with a world where memories are traded and viewed, losing their sanctity and becoming mere data points in a collective consciousness.
This leap from Augustine's introspective view to Egan's externalized memory concept prompts us to ponder:
In our modern era, where technology is intertwined with our personal lives, are we progressing towards a shared consciousness that diminishes the individual essence that Augustine held in such high regard?
Has our perception of memory evolved? And how does this evolution impact our comprehension of memory, privacy, and identity?
If only I could survey my community on this topic…
Would I participate in the “Own Your Unconscious” technology? Would you?
This intriguing question from our book club discussion inspired my November Community Survey on Memories & Privacy.
In this survey, I asked people to imagine a reality where "Own Your Unconscious" technology exists. Below are some of their thoughts. After, I end with a story.
Each month, I invite the Katya Cares community to participate in a survey about a topic that we care about. It's a wonderful way to learn more about each other and to deepen our understanding of the topic at hand!
1. Survey responses about the technology itself
Would you be willing to upload your own memories if it gave you access to view the memories of others?
Would you prefer to have the ability to select which memories you upload, or would you be comfortable with all your memories being accessible?
If you could edit or delete parts of your memories before uploading, would you do it? Why or why not?
Should people be allowed to curate or modify their memories to portray a certain image, or should the platform only allow authentic, unedited memories?
2. Survey responses about the emotional impact of sharing memories
If you could see other people's memories, would that help you reduce feelings of FOMO or enhance feelings of FOMO? For example, you didn't go out with your friends and then watched their memories of the night out... how would you feel?
How do you think viewing someone else's memories could impact your relationship with them?
Would you be concerned about the emotional impact of experiencing someone else’s memories, especially traumatic ones?
Survey discussions:
Are there any memories (types or contents) that should be off-limits for sharing in such a platform, and why?
Some people made the argument that no memories should be off-limits because you do not need to watch other people’s memories if you do not want to.
Most people wrote about which types of memories should be off-limits. These include traumatic experiences, intimate personal moments, memories involving other people without their consent, and childhood memories.
What concerns, if any, do you have about the privacy and security of your memories in such an exchange?
A few people stated that they are not concerned because if you have agency over what you can share, this isn't very different from what is already happening on social media. “If you don't like social media, don't put your content on social media!”
Most survey respondents expressed concerns about data breaches, misuse of memories, lack of control over shared memories, potential emotional distress, and manipulation of memories.
How do you think access to a diverse range of personal memories could contribute to your personal growth or understanding of the world?
Most people agree that having access to diverse memories would significantly contribute to our personal and collective growth.
Olive argued that memory sharing would not lead to growth; as she put it, "I don't think memory sharing would fix a lack of curiosity.”
If only memory sharing was years away…
Okay, last time I'll bring this up, I promise – because my tech got swiped in Brazil, I've now got myself a shiny new computer and phone!
The latest update came with a new application called “Journal”. I enjoy Journaling so naturally I opened it all excited but skeptical. "How is this different from Notes?" I wondered. WELL. LET. ME. TELL. YOU.
Actually, let me SHOW you. The app Journal presented me with the following and prompted me to write about it:
Friends…. Here’s what I did from Friday evening to Saturday: met up with my friend Alexa, went to the gym, and took a walk while listening to “Simply the Best,” a song I heard at the gym. Later, I hosted a birthday dinner for my friend Clara. We had a great time, drinking too much, watching bad movies, and enjoying Chinese food.
Sunday, I celebrated Christmas Eve with my family. It was a wonderful weekend!
Journal showed me my whole weekend - from the photos I took, to where I walked, to the music I listened to, and to whom I texted the most.
Did I give consent for the Journal to know everything I did that weekend? It shook me to see the entire weekend laid out like that for me…
….Of course, I gave it consent! After all, I purchased Apple's devices worth thousands of dollars and proceeded to use their photo, music, fitness, and Messenger apps.
Journal not only summarizes your days with the photos you take, the steps you take, the music and podcasts you listen to, and the conversations on Messenger, but it also uses AI to provide journaling suggestions.
“Journal uses on-device machine learning to create personalized suggestions to inspire a user’s journal entries.” It says that right here: https://www.apple.com/newsroom/2023/12/apple-launches-journal-app-a-new-app-for-reflecting-on-everyday-moments/#:~:text=All Journal entries are end,added to their Journal entries.
Anyway, as you guessed, I am already using Journal as a supplement to my pen and paper journal writing. I have locked the entries, so nobody can access them without my authorization.
This makes me feel completely comfortable with where technology is headed and not at all strange! 🤪
Now imagine if I could share my Journal with the world. How is this very different from the technology mentioned above in “The Candy House”?
Sure, currently, Journal lacks video and audio streaming, and it doesn't require me to share my Journal with the rest of the world in exchange for access to others' Journals. But is it really so far-fetched to imagine an update where it does exactly that?
In fact, many companies are already working on video and audio streaming.
A writer I follow, Jill, writes on Life Litter:
“Joel also told me there’s something called Life Streaming, where people stream their life, wearing something that records everything so they can play it back. It captures conversations and moments: a dash cam of your life. I think back to times we’ve argued and how I’ve wanted to film him so he can see what I see. What an invasion that would be. Will life streamers need to obtain my consent before recording the experience of meeting me? What kind of consent will I need to give for an AI bot to draw conclusions about me when I pass it on the street?”
The company Jill mentions is https://www.rewind.ai/about. For a monthly fee of only 20-30 dollars, you can record the audio of your surroundings and have it saved and transcribed on their app. Their tagline is "Our vision is to give humans superpowers." This concept feels quite science fiction and dystopian. Interestingly, one of their targeted use-cases is for people with ADHD, as mentioned on https://www.rewind.ai/use-case/adhd.
One notable feature Rewind offers is the ability to "Search for anything you've seen, said, or heard.”
Sounds familiar?
If only you could take my January community survey on tracking 😉
Writing about memory and privacy, as well as engaging in constant conversations about New Year resolutions, made me contemplate how we monitor our goals and track our lives.
From Spotify Wrapped to Goodreads Challenges to Strava miles, members of my community use technology to reflect on their year and measure their achievements. They track their activities on different applications to stay committed to their goals. In return for a sense of accomplishment, these apps retain their data.
For my January survey, I created a questionnaire on the topic of Tracking. How did you track your life in 2023? How will you track your life in 2024?
This is a big invitation for you to take the survey and partake in our next discussion. Click on that link! It'll only take a few minutes to answer. I'm not only excited for your recommendations, which might introduce us to new tools, but I'm also eager to continue our discussion about how technology is shaping our lives.
In this changing world where our memories might no longer be just our own, let's shape a future where technology enhances our human experience without compromising the sanctity of our personal narratives.
Thank you for subscribing. With your support, writing becomes a tranquil, yet companionable pursuit, never lonely.
I'm deeply appreciative of the time you spend reading my work. A heartfelt thank you to everyone who engages in my surveys, joins in the reading, and contributes additional resources to our shared learning. A special nod to James for his reminder about Augustine of Hippo, which became the key element in tying this piece together.
With much gratitude, love, and care,
Katya