Nobody Wants This Good Material
On hot rabbis, shitty comedians, and the stories we choose to tell
Nobody wants to watch TV or to read anymore!
Once in a while, the universe hands you perfect timing. This month, everything I watched and read felt like it was made just for me.
Over dinner, I started watching Nobody Wants This, and by bedtime, my book, Good Material, was picking up the conversation.
I mean, I am the ideal audience for these stories. I’m a 30 year old Jewish-presenting woman who knows hot rabbis, some might call me a comedian, and I’m currently weighing the pros and cons of staying single versus entering a relationship.
This synchronicity sparked an energizing feeling—a desire to finish both the TV series and book at once. My entertainment choices were engaging in a silent dialogue, and I’ve since felt compelled to share this conversation with everyone.
Though this moment felt uniquely special to me, it turns out everyone I know just finished Nobody Wants This too.
Clara, the friend who recommended the show to me—and to whom I recently texted, "Nobody knows me like you know me" after she suggested I jump on a mini trampoline at midnight to burn off energy—also recommended Good Material by Dolly Alderton.
She said Good Material sounded like something I would write:
She obviously meant it as a compliment—both because clearly I'm as witty as author Dolly and because I share the main character's love of solitude. (How dare someone distract me from my Netflix and books?)
Inspired by this feedback, I decided to write this post to share my thoughts on the TV show and book, as well as how they influenced my perspective on dating and discussing relationships in my 30s.
A Quick Review of Nobody Wants This
While I'll discuss my frustrations with the script and characters later, I must say this has been one of the better feel-good TV shows of 2024 overall.
Nobody Wants This boasts a stellar cast (including Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, Justine Lupe, Jackie Tohn, Timothy Simons, and Tovah Feldshuh), tackles important people issues, and maintains an upbeat tone throughout.
Is it joyful? Absolutely. The show beautifully captures the joy of falling in love, the warmth of connecting with family and friends, and the satisfaction of working a job you love—and being recognized for it. I found it funnier than most comedy tv shows.
I am pleased it has been renewed for Season 2 and am looking forward to it!
A Quick review of Good Material
Good Material was a delightful, quick read for me.
I'll discuss the details later in this post, but I found it portrayed realistic characters undergoing realistic changes, complete with a very realistic ending. This feels so rare to me and so, I really appreciated Dolly’s efforts and immediately bought more books by her.
Is it joyful? Absolutely! Dolly's wit shines through, gently guiding readers through even the toughest moments. Though it kicks off with a breakup, you're left with a comforting sense that the characters will find their way, whether reunited or flying solo.
I give it a 5/5.
Nobody wants to break up anymore!
I watched this scene and read this page on the same day! Has anyone ever had this much fun?
As I enter my 30s, I'm surrounded by people who don't want to break up.
The last major split in my friend group happened a year ago with two lovely people who really gave it a good go. It's strange—none of my friends want to end their loving, healthy relationships!
I love this for them! I love other people's love.
Hopefully, I'll stick to media for breakup content for a while longer. As someone who pushed for a few breakups and been on the receiving end, I can attest to the Madness—they're far from enjoyable!
Perhaps, there is a trend towards healthier relationships…
Nobody wants to watch shitty men date anymore!
Nobody Wants This is gaining popularity for
featuring an actually hot man - Adam Brody has our collective heart and IS my type, I fear.
featuring a very JEWISH hot man , a RABBI even (In this economy?)
featuring a not-shitty Nice Jewish Man
(Don't worry. In this case, it's the women who are portrayed as either "wild, fun blonde party shiksas" or "uptight, boring brunette Jewish wives." What a relief! Finally giving the men a break!)
Our new favorite Rabbi Noah is a 30-something serial monogamist. He transitions from being engaged to an "uptight, boring brunette wife" to falling for a "wild, fun blonde party girl" in the blink of an eye. This blonde shiksa happens to be Kristen Bell, whom we all are also in love with. These two have electric chemistry—their first kiss is the best we've seen in ages. You can't help but root for them, if only to watch them do something less PG.
Noah believes in 3 things:
Judaism
basketball and
being in a healthy relationship.
The show is receiving praise for its portrayal of a healthy relationship. The kind Jewish man consistently offers reassurance to his crazy anxious partner.
Spoiler alert—we can't seem to catch him doing anything terribly shitty throughout the entire first season. This is so rare that everyone, myself included, watched the whole season with skepticism and then had to immediately discuss our shock: "Wow, a man who isn't awful?"
Attention Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Disney, etc.: Women are ready to watch non-shitty men! We also would like men to watch non-shitty men more often and maybe learn something.
Nobody wants to marry a Rabbi after watching this!
Noah is so hot that I'd consider converting to Judaism for him (and I was born Jewish).
But would I actually do it? Not if I watched this show first!
Based on this show, you might reconsider pursuing the not-shitty hot man if he's a Rabbi.
Initially, I thought, "Wow, this show is exactly the positivity the Jews want! Especially during the holidays! We want hot Jewish characters sharing the good of our culture."
However, this sentiment evaporated when the hot whore #2 Shiksa called the Rabbi "cuter than expected, not that Jewish looking" and used an emoji to describe his brother as "an ogre." I laughed, but I also immediately thought about which category I fall into and if being 5'2" puts me in the first.
More disheartening is the show's portrayal of non-Jews as eager to learn about Jewish culture, while Jewish families in LA are depicted as unwelcoming to outsiders. This stark contrast paints an entertaining but unflattering picture of the Jewish community.
"Unwelcoming" is a mild word—Noah’s family and friends are straight-up mean girls to the shiksas!
I've never experienced such rudeness towards shiksas in my own life, neither in Russia nor in New York City. (I've also never heard the word "shiksa" as much as in this show, and I shamelessly can sing "Shiksa Goddess" from the musical The Last Five Years.) It's hard for me to believe that in this day and age, a Jewish family from the Soviet Union living in LA would be so hung up on someone not being born Jewish. BTW, their Soviet accents are 0/10.
In my experience, practicing Jews from Eastern Europe often shower everyone with kindness to encourage acceptance of the Jewish community. The same goes for religious American communities in NYC. As Clara asked me, "Is the Rabbi in a conservative synagogue? It doesn't seem so!" The whole situation felt like an outdated problem.
Realistic or not, I know that if an entire community treated me rudely, I'd seek out a different one rather than trying to win their approval. (I'll admit I'm biased—being a refugee from Russia…)
I can give you many reasons to marry Noah, and only one not to - his Rabbi family and community is rude!
It feels strange to type, "Noah is not a shitty guy, and so attractive, except his community is very Jewish and rude," but that's a takeaway someone might get from this show.
After watching this show, it feels preferable to be single or even settle for your typical flawed partner rather than end up as a Head Rabbi's wife.
I feel weird about this and I’m eager for everyone’s thoughts! So far, I found a few pieces on other Jewish people feeling weird about this show, but only heard of Clara’s thoughts from our little community. I liked this show but am interested in the criticism of it. Talk to me! I want this!
Nobody wants to marry a shitty man…period.
Andy, the main character from the book Good Material, could never be a Rabbi or even a Nice Jewish Boy. He is a shitty shitty man.
We aren't watching Andy for enjoyment; we're struggling inside his head for hundreds of pages.
This book faced criticism for featuring a two-dimensional character—yet another stereotypical shitty dumb 30-something guy.
As Soph Coombs publishing “The Quiet 20s” wrote to me “I was speaking to someone yesterday who said they couldn’t stand Andy and felt he was really two-dimensional. I was thinking ‘you’ve clearly never met an Andy’”.
I really enjoyed being inside Andy’s head because the writing is funny and it was fun to be inside the head of someone so different from me. I’m so Type A compared to Andy so I was very entertained to read how he thinks, or doesn’t think, through all sorts of decisions. It felt like a wonderful break from reality to be inside the head of a 35 year old white privileged man whose biggest problem is a breakup.
But marrying an Andy? I would never.
Andy is, maybe, good in bed? He could be fun to date casually!
But Andy is a bad communicator, a bad listener, a bad gift-giver… He is bad with finances. He is 35 but doesn't have a stable job or home. He doesn't believe in therapy nor in any authority.
Andy seems to only believe in:
1) alcohol and
2) being in a relationship.
I can't give you one reason to marry an Andy, aside from the fact that he loves deeply and maybe he's funny, but if you really want a man to make you laugh… you can pay some money for that.
Nobody wants to hear shitty men’s comedy anymore.
In Good Material, Andy is, unfortunately, a full-time comedian.
In real life, my friends and I are exhausted by mediocre comedians who are also shitty men achieving undeserved fame and wealth. We want to support good people making good art! We want to date good people making good art! We are ready for this.
Andy’s girls would agree with me when I say that I’d rather read Andy’s thoughts in private than hear his comedy publicly.
His comedy is "Cringe!" as Andy's 23-year-old hookup would say, echoing the sentiment of the harsh reviewer who criticized him.
I quickly realized that dating a full-time comedian who's terrible at his job and everything else sounds just as awful to me as dating a Rabbi who's great at everything and a wonderful person.
Of course, Andy needs to use his breakup as a theme for his comedy special. Spoiler alert - His ex was upset about this, but then comes around.
Like Andy, I make bad jokes about my personal life all the time.
Unlike Andy, I feel conflicted in sharing them to the outside world.
I feel conflicted about even mentioning "dating" on a public forum. Is it possible to find humor in dating in your 30s, or does it always come across as disheartening news—even if you chose to be single?
Nobody wants to support single women talking about sex!
Andy from Good Material and Joanne from Nobody Wants This (Kristen Bell's character) have much in common:
They are not Jewish
They are type B personality
They are single whores, talking about sex publicly
Guess which character feels more supported?
Joanne and her sister Morgan (whore #2) host a humorous podcast called "Nobody Wants This," where they candidly discuss their experiences as a single woman and explore topics related to sex. Although it is clearly making fun of white women yapping, it seems like exactly the kind of podcast my friends and I would listen to.
What's refreshing about Joanne and Morgan is that they're not in their early twenties, yet they remain single, confident, and sexy—openly discussing sex. (That is, until Joanne catches the eye of the hot Rabbi, of course.)
I used to talk a lot about sex. I thought it was important for women to talk about. I even taught sex-ed classes to high schoolers for years, and wrote about that. Lots of stories! Maybe someday, I’ll share.
Yet, as the years pass, discussing these topics becomes increasingly challenging. (Which is ironic, considering women often experience more sexual pleasure as they age.) I’m supposed to be a good quiet Russian American Jewish wife, and here I am, subbing and stacking.
So, kudos to all the Joannes and Morgans out there who continue to openly talk about sex well into their 30s and 40s and beyond. You are good people and you make good art. I support you.
Nobody wants to support each other unconditionally!
Dating in high school and college was different—not because it was easier to find the right person, but because you'd have unconditional support.
Your task was to get a boyfriend or girlfriend, shitty or not shitty, Rabbi or a shiksa comedian.
I’ve checked the “girlfriend” box plenty. Every time, everybody clapped. I did the thing! I’d rarely hear negative feedback.
As I entered my late 20s, I noticed a shift—people became much less supportive. We've transformed into wise, opinionated cynics, particularly when it comes to single people (we still clap at engagements).
I am a very private person. Nobody really knows who I’ve been with, when, and how.
I once considered this tendency to be unattractive and unwise.
After ending a live-in relationship, I reflected that I might not have stayed as long if I'd shared my feelings with others during that time.
But after opening up about my feelings, I realized my initial instinct was correct. It was good I made my own mistakes, privately, and left, without asking for anyone’s opinions. I got unconditional support when quietly being with him, and not really that when I left or since.
People are biased by what is most celebrated in our culture and their own personal experiences. They never know the whole story. The few times I’ve opened up about something romantic happening, I’ve regretted it.
This isn't a criticism of my friends, who are wonderful people, but rather a reflection on society's pressure for women to conform to a single mold.
Instead of unconditional support, I encountered a barrage of suggestions on how I should change to fit into each advice-giver's personal fairy tale version of relationships.
While some people really did help after I specifically asked for their help (you know who you are), mostly, I've found myself judging people's responses to me more harshly than the person I was initially venting about. Their reactions have often left a stronger impression than the original issue.
Both the book and the TV show comforted me and reminded me that this is not a unique experience. The one thing that Andy and Jen (his ex), Rabbi Noah, Joanne, and Morgan have in common is that they get caught up in other people's opinions about their relationships—or lack thereof—and it only hurts them.
The central conflict between Joanne and Rabbi Noah arises from their lack of unconditional support from others—and their sensitivity to this absence. They have a caring community that wants to be there for them, but they care too much about what this community thinks! They keep listening to advice from siblings and friends which only causes stress. Joanne even discusses her relationship with a group of teenage girls and seeks advice from a dog!
I just want to hug them and say, "If you want to be together, that's all that matters. Enjoy it!"
Jen, Andy’s ex, has one central conflict - she wants to be alone. Why is this a conflict? She feels pressured to date!
I just want to hug her and say, "If you want to be alone, that's all that matters. Enjoy it!"
I'm still unsure about my future—whether I'll stay single or get married with kids. But no matter what happens, I know one thing for sure: I don't need everyone’s opinions, I just need a little support. So, when the time comes, I hope my friends will hug me and simply say, "Enjoy it.”
Nobody wants to tell good material anymore
I find myself at a crossroads—a private individual who enjoys writing and reading personal essays about dating, yet hesitates to share my own experiences.
Like Joanne with her podcast and Andy with his comedy, I wonder about the value and cost of turning personal stories into public material.
It feels like nobody wants to hear good stories anymore—where dates went well or someone's content being single.
While negative, humorous takes seem to be in higher demand (hello, Andy's comedy special), I hesitate to add more cynicism to the conversation.
That's why I found Nobody Wants This and Good Material so refreshing. They remind us that it's okay to fall in love with a hot rabbi who treats you well, and it's equally okay to end a relationship if you're happier alone, like Jen. They dare to show us both the mess and the joy.
But here's what I really want to tell you: Some days I'm the shiksa, some days I'm the wife, most days I'm happily neither.
Some stories I'll share, others I'll keep close—and maybe that's exactly the kind of material we need more of: honest, hopeful glimpses into the moments between the punchlines, where we're all still figuring it out.
The most compelling moments often live in the uncertain spaces where experiences are messy and unresolved but hopeful. These are the stories I find myself drawn to tell, even as I question whether I should.
As a single woman in her thirties who values privacy but sees the power of authentic sharing, perhaps there's room for both protection and revelation.
Maybe it's not about duty or demands, but about creating the kind of supportive space I wished for earlier—one where we can say "enjoy it" to whatever path someone chooses.
If sharing these complex, imperfect moments helps even one person feel more understood in their choices—whether they're dating a rabbi, leaving a comedian, or choosing solitude—then perhaps that's the good material worth telling.
If you watched Nobody Wants This or read Good Material or have other good material for me, let me know! Send me an email! Write a comment!
If you've read all this good material - thank you! If you enjoyed this, hitting that like button makes my day.
Cheers to consuming and sharing good material and wanting things to change,
Katya
I loved Nobody Wants This and Good Material! Deffo two favourites of the year for me. I loved reading your take on both, thank you for sharing Katya!
This is so refreshing to read and so interesting to hear someone else's take on things! I feel like I need to read Good Material and then come back and read this again!