I sent out a scary survey about Purpose
And felt happier after reading the responses.
For my 30th birthday, I asked people to 1) publicly draw cats from memory and 2) privately fill out a survey about Purpose. Can you guess which request scared the most people?
Here are all the things I did to get people to take my survey
mention it on many posts
mention it in person
preface by saying that it’s not that deep, its just a survey
start the survey like this:
Interestingly, merely uttering the word "Purpose" seems to induce significant anxiety among many people.
This is a little unexpected given that everyone who reads my Substack is someone I deeply respect and feel incredibly proud of. On paper, so many of my readers have impressive life resumes that would make anyone feel under accomplished. You’d think, they’d want to brag about all this stuff they did that they worked hard for that brought them so much purpose. Nope!
Believe it or not, the intention of this survey wasn’t to send my loves ones in existential crisis. I actually was curious about the intersection between purpose and energy.
I want to add a few side notes:
I am not suggesting everyone needs to find a purpose.
When my friend Clara stated, "I am not one who strives for purpose. I just want to be and that's it," I felt comforted. I, too, just want Clara to be in this life, in my life. She has her priorities straight!
At least for today, I do not want to write about the meaning of life.
(To me, it currently seems like life is about munching on cheese balls and writing about purpose, before having dinner with loved ones - exactly what I'm doing right now).
If you participated in the survey and shared personal insights, rest assured that I've chosen not to quote the deeply personal responses regarding your life's purpose, as it feels intrusive. Instead, I'm slowly reaching out to each participant via email to initiate individual conversations about purpose. If you haven't received an email yet, look forward to one in your inbox soon! Check your inbox! I highly value one-on-one intimate conversations and will prioritize them.
I introduced my thoughts on "Purpose" in my more creative previous post. Now, I'm going to extend this discussion with a focus on survey responses. As I am not able to cover all aspects of Purpose in a single email, I will further explore my theories on Purpose and Energy at a later date.
My survey on Purpose had its flaws.
The title could have been "Purpose & Energy".
I chose to be intentionally vague to gauge if respondents could connect purpose and energy, or if they would find the energy aspect confusing. I was aiming for instinctive reactions.
Only one candid, albeit inebriated friend, said, "I find this survey very confusing."
One question stated, "Did you end up with a life where you can do all that brings you energy?"
"All" might have been an overstatement. "Most" would have been a more accurate representation of my intent.
Whether anxious or not, a group of outstanding individuals took the time to complete the Purpose survey and provide thoughtful responses. Here are some of the findings:
“What is your purpose” survey
I started with, "What brought you energy as a kid?", then "What brings you energy now?", and finally, "Are these things the same or have they evolved?"
Here are some things that brought our community members energy as kids:
running around/ playing in nature
creative projects alone or with friends
learning something interesting/new
being in a club
sports/ reading about sports
family trips, family dinners, family play time
reading
writing
imagining worlds with friends
dancing
moving/exercising
complaining
Here are some things that energize our community members now:
running around/ playing in nature
creative projects alone or with friends
learning something interesting/new
being in a club
sports/ reading about sports
family trips, family dinners, family play time
reading
writing
deep conversations with friends
dancing
moving/exercising
complaining
How many of these did you do today? 🤔
Survey findings:
People know which activities bring them energy.
Similar things energize humans as both children and adults.
If I tallied up the activities, I'd find that they appear equally in the responses to the two questions. (The same amount of people mentioned nature as a source of energy as a kid as a source of energy as an adult).
The activity itself evolves over time as we grow up.
Kids grow up and adapt to age-appropriate activities.
As Jenn said “Even if I don’t play with dolls, I still get a lot of energy from having creative conversations with friends.”
People adapt when their environments change.
Some individuals, once accustomed to country living, may now find themselves walking in city parks or exercising indoors to capture the energy they once experienced in the countryside. On the other hand, some people may find themselves drawn to nature, opting to live in places where they can prioritize natural surroundings.
Even if the activities remain the same, the way they are done, either individually or socially, might have evolved over time.
The extroverts, who gain energy from people, still find that the activities are tied strongly to human connection. Helen writes “I love human connection and I love activities, being out in nature and shared experiences”.
Those who have their own families gain more energy than ever before by sharing their interests with their children. “I am still a sports fan but now I am more excited to share those things with my kids”.
For some, activities have become more solitary, serving as a respite from constant noise. "I used to focus my energy on communicating, telling, and showing. Now, it's about experiencing and existing. This shift may be a symptom of a world where we're always expected to be available and communicating, and have a job that requires the same. Now, it's such a treat to not touch my phone for three hours while playing in the park with my friends."
Some individuals, such as Tiffany, have discovered that their energy source is not the people they interact with during an activity, but the stimulation and interest they gain from engaging in something fascinating. She writes, "I think when I was younger I thought I got energy from social situations - and although that's important to me, I don't think it's what gives me energy."
Now that we are older, we know ourselves better and can articulate ourselves better.
“I couldn't have talked to you about public goods and government the same way as a kid and I couldn't justify complaining as much as I did, but the underlying feeling was there.” - Ian
“I have more sense of why I get excited and how that fits in with a broader life.” - Liam
A riskier question I posed is “Did you end up in a career that fits with the things gives you energy?”
I write, with relief, that most people answered “yes”. Again, I didn’t mean to send anyone into a career crisis!
For many individuals, their career offers elements that energize them, even if not consistently throughout the day.
”A day is a long time to be happy.” - Ian, also this SNL sketch.
It's worth noting that the participants in my survey held a variety of jobs, such as teachers, journalists, computer programmers, sales engineers, AI researchers, and Climate Infrastructure Consultants. Even those who were job-searching participated.
Any job that includes energizing aspects and allows for a balanced workload can support our overall energy levels.
This is a positive scenario, especially since we live in a world where most of us must work and can't spend our entire day outdoors, even though it might be the most energizing lifestyle.
Then, I took an even bigger risk and asked about LIFE.
I asked, "Did you end up with a life where you can do all that brings you energy?"
Again, I didn’t mean “all”. I meant “most things”.
It was a huge relief that most survey participants answered "yes".
Even more flattering was the number of people who took the time to express their views on the word "all", with comments such as, "I mean, 'all' is so absolute." People are reading AND paying attention 🥹.
At the very end, I asked the BIG question - "Do you feel like your life is full of purpose?"
and once again, I sighed in relief, when most people said “yes.”
So, if you were patiently wondering whether most people who took my survey believe their lives are full of purpose, the answer is "Yes".
This aligns with my theory - that individuals who understand what aspects of life energize them CAN lead a purposeful life. Life can feel like it has purpose.
I’m not saying it necessarily will, just that it can.
Still, how hopeful! We indeed have some control. Our ability to evolve and learn about ourselves enables us to live purposefully.
One individual highlighted the importance of recognizing what energizes us. They shared, "After I realized that community experiences energize me, my life changed. Now, I center my life around these things, rather than career and social status, and life feels much richer."
If everyone who listed numerous energizing activities also said “no” to living a life full of purpose, I'd write, "My bad, there is nothing here, carry on.”
If everyone replied, "I don't understand this survey," it would signal that I should abandon this particular idea. Indeed, I made a significant leap from asking about energy to asking about purpose. However, this transition seemed logical to many.
I also understand that individuals who are willing to participate in a survey about purpose might have a more positive perspective on this topic. If I were to pay people to take this survey, I would likely receive more "no" responses. However, it's notable that the people who said "no" to having a purpose either don't believe in purpose in general, simply prioritize other things like pleasure, or are on the path to a purposeful life but haven't quite reached it yet.
And so, I am left with the feeling that there might be something worth exploring here, at the intersection of energy and purpose, and worth writing about further, soon.
Indeed, the titled "What is Your Purpose" survey caused considerable anxiety in our community. Nevertheless, most of my readers participated in the survey, albeit at a slower pace, and ultimately shared very positive feedback.
Here are some positive tidbits about the survey itself:
“This was cathartic for me lol so thank you!”
"Usually, thinking about my childhood is something I do when recounting bad memories to my therapist. But this time around, I was brought back to so many moments of awe and excitement!"
“This survey was helpful for processing! My mom sadly passed away recently and this was a helpful exercise to focus myself on what brings me energy and purpose.”
Considering purpose through the perspective of energy might be beneficial and healing.
When I had my first job and lived in my initial adult apartment with my boyfriend, I felt aimless and unhappy, despite doing everything expected of me - having a good job and boyfriend, being independent, being a good friend, and a reliable family member. Even then, I would have said my life lacked purpose. I felt directionless and devoid of vitality.
The idea of making an immediate, dramatic change to bring purpose into my life seemed unrealistic and only provoked anxiety. I tried. I failed.
Instead, I had to reflect on what energized me and make necessary adjustments to incorporate more of that into my life. Writing, creating art, and moving to music have always invigorated me, so I began to prioritize these activities guilt-free and soak up all the energy I could. The boost of energy enabled me to make significant changes that I had been postponing. I transitioned to a remote job for improved work-life balance and ended my relationship, allowing myself time to prioritize my needs. I have zero regrets.
Now, many years later, at the age of 30, my life is filled with purpose. I continue to focus on activities that energize me. A walk in the park. A silly doodle. A survey! The increases in energy enables me to take better care of myself and those around me. I now have more capacity to work on projects that I find deeply meaningful. I feel more capable of making positive contributions to my life and the world.
A day is a long time to be happy, and a life is an even longer time to feel purposeful, but we can experience moments of happiness and purpose most days. Instead of feeling anxious about a "grand life purpose," we can learn about our sources of energy and, using this valuable information, contribute positive energy back into the world.
The pressing concern for anyone grappling with this, as I once did, is "how". I'll address that another day.
Today, I leave you with these positive quotes from our survey on purpose and life:
“To me, the purpose of my life is to simply experience everything life has to offer, and to find as much peace and happiness while doing so.”
“The only thing we know for sure in life is pleasure and so I just live trying to maximize pleasure.”
“When you’re happy and full of energy, you’re more productive and leave a greater positive impact on the world.”
“I've come to terms with the fact that purpose means different things to every person, and mine now is just to be happy and make the people I love happy. And perhaps if we all did the same, we wouldn't need as many grand purposes.”
Thank you for participating in the survey! Keep an eye out for an individual email and another post on this topic.
With energy, purpose, and care,
Katya